Overcoming the Most Common Homeschool Fears

I remember when I first started homeschooling, I had so many fears! In fact, we almost didn’t homeschool because of those fears. I thought I might ruin our children, or they might become awkward or ‘different’. I was concerned that I wouldn’t do a good job, or that I might fail somehow.

 I’m so thankful the Lord helped me to look past my fears and reminded me to fix my eyes on Him instead of my fears!

What is Fear & Why Do We Have It?

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or problems, or is a threat, something difficult to endure.

But many of us have fears that are NOT actually about something that is dangerous, or that will cause pain, problems or a threat. We fear things that are not actually something to fear at all!

F.E.A.R. is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. There’s no true threat of immediate physical danger, no threat of a loss of someone or something dear to us, actually there’s nothing to fear at all. 

My homeschool fears were certainly not unusual, in fact, I often hear parents share the exact same fears that I had back when I was first homeschooling.  But many of these homeschooling fears are like the second definition, they are false evidence appearing real!

That’s why I wanted to walk through several of the most common fears that homeschool parents tend to have to help you overcome them.

Four of the Most Common Homeschool Fears and How to Overcome Them

#1 – What if I don’t do a good job teaching my kids?

Many of us don’t feel qualified to teach our kids, we don’t have a teaching degree or maybe we weren’t a good student ourselves. Or possibly we feel we aren’t creative enough or that we don’t have enough patience.

The good news is that you’re NOT doing this homeschooling thing on your own! As you seek the Lord for wisdom, He will be walking right beside you, giving you wisdom and insights as you teach your children.  Daily, moment by moment, I encourage you to seek His help. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  God wants to help you!

There are also wonderful curricula out there today to help us in teaching our children.

You can explore curriculum options and find good curriculum to help you teach your children – and you don’t even have to be creative – the curriculum does that for you! Here’s a post on choosing curriculum that will help you figure out what you might want to use as tools for teaching your children: Choosing Curriculum to Fit Your Family. A wonderful resource to learn more about all the curriculum options out there is Cathyduffyreviews.com.

If you weren’t a good student yourself, you will be more able to empathize with your student if they struggle, and also more likely to provide a better way for your children to learn because of your experience.

If you feel like your knowledge is weak in certain subjects, you can purchase curriculum that will  do some of the teaching for you. For example, my math skills have never been strong, and so when our children got into upper level math, we bought a video-based curriculum that taught our children math. Plus, my husband is a math-wiz, so he was able to help them in the evening with anything they didn’t understand.  God took care of this weakness for me and our children all became good at math, even though it’s not one of my strengths.

A great resource to help make sure you stay on track with all you need to do each year for homeschooling is my book Homeschooling with Confidence.

#2 – What if my kids fall behind other kids their age academically because of homeschooling?

The National Home Education Research Institute has done studies on homeschool students’ academic success. Their studies show that homeschool students’ average score on academic achievement tests is in the 65th-80th percentile. That’s 15-30% higher than the average score for public school students, which is 50%! Check out their information at nheri.org.

However, these statistics are averages and there may be circumstances when a homeschool student does fall behind.  For instance, homeschooling tends to be one of the best ways to educate a child with learning struggles. You may have chosen to homeschool because your student is struggling to learn, and if that’s the case, they likely are behind other students their age because of this learning issue. But your homeschooled child will be protected from the bullying and teasing that happens to children with learning struggles in the public school. And you can move along at their pace without anyone criticizing them for being behind. I’ve seen struggling learners do so much better academically when their parents take them home to educate them.

Even if your student is behind a bit academically for whatever reason, if you’re homeschooling them, you can work with them one-on-one and help them catch up to the best of their ability.

Some kids aren’t ready for formal education until they are between the ages of 8-10, and then they catch up quite quickly to their peers as they begin formal learning. (check out Better Late Than Early by Dr. Raymond & Dorothy Moore) and some kids struggle in certain subjects and just need a little extra help. Homeschooling them is one of the best ways to teach them, because you can focus on their weak areas and help them improve.

Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education by [Moore, Raymond S., Moore, Dorothy N.]

#3- What if my kids don’t get enough socialization or are ‘different’ because of homeschooling?

Socialization is often a big fear when parents consider homeschooling, and it’s one of the questions you’ll get asked frequently when you say you homeschool!

The crazy thing is, most homeschool children are well socialized. This is one of those fears based on false evidence.

The dictionary defines socialization as the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society. Most parents are more than qualified to teach their children how to behave, and in fact, they are MORE qualified to do so than a classroom full of a child’s peers!

There is a LOT of negative socialization that happens in a big classroom – bullying, disrespect, peer pressure to conform to worldly standards, materialism, self-centered behavior, etc. 

We can focus on building godly character in our children as we spend our days teaching them. This is the best kind of socialization! In fact, I’d say that if our children turn out different, it typically is for the better, because we can help them to be kind and considerate, responsible and respectful.  That kind of ‘different’ is what we want!   

We were motivated to homeschool because of the beautiful example we saw in our neighbor’s girls who were home educated. They were respectful, responsible, well-mannered, and able to converse with adults as well as children!  They were some of our best babysitters when our children were little because we knew we could trust them.

Check out this YouTube video by Israel Wayne on Socialization to learn more about this much misunderstood concern.

#4 – What if I can’t handle teaching my kids plus all the other responsibilities I have already?

Homeschooling is like having a full-time or a part-time job, so we do need to weigh the cost of time as we decide on homeschooling.  We need to determine our priorities and if homeschooling is something God is leading you to do, then He will help you to find the balance you need in your schedule to do it.

We may need to change what we’re currently doing to be able to fit homeschooling into our schedule. Our children’s education is important and if we have too many other responsibilities, we may need to cut out some of those things for a season so we can do a good job teaching our children. 

Our children can be a big help to us in keeping up our home and managing meals, etc.  In fact, having them help with housekeeping and meal preparation are great ways to teach them to manage their own home someday!

In my planner, The Homeschool Life All-in-One Planner, I have information on how to implement a chore system as well as templates to use for that. I also have a section on meal planning to help you streamline planning and making meals each day. There’s a section on organizing and planning out your school days as well, and lots of resources to help you manage your home and homeschool well! Check our The Homeschool Life All-in-One Planner!

The Homeschool Life All-in-One Planner with digital templates for all consumable documents

If you’re sensing that homeschooling is for you, or you’re already homeschooling but having lots of doubts, seek the Lord to give you clear direction and peace. Oftentimes our fears are just lies from the enemy, trying to get us to turn away from what God is leading us to do.

Seek the Lord for wisdom as you wrestle with your homeschooling fears. Are they real or are they based on false evidence?

God has many promises for us as we work through our fears:

 “And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28–29

You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”
Psalm 32:7–8

Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6b–7

Where God’s love is, there is no fear, because God’s perfect love drives out fear. 
1 John 4:18a

What are your homeschooling fears? Please share them below and any ways that you’ve found to overcome them.  I’d be happy to pray for you as you wrestle through your fears as well.  

7 Ways to Be a Godly Influence on Your Children

We smile as we see a father and son walking down the road and the son is the spitting image of his dad, from his looks to his mannerisms, to what he’s wearing.   It’s fun to see children want to be like their parents!

As parents, we have such an amazing opportunity to influence our children for good, it’s exciting to be able to be such an important part of someone’s development as a person, but the responsibility can be a little overwhelming at times too!

You see, the scary thing is that we can also influence our children in negative ways. Our struggles with certain sins can become the same sins our children will struggle with as they grow older. Sins like worry, fear, gossip, complaining, anger outbursts, just to name a few.

Now that our children are adults, my husband and I see some of the negative influences our sinful behavior has had on them.  One is more controlling than they should be at times, another one of them worries too much sometimes.  It’s hard to see our own struggles with sin reflected in our children.  In hindsight, I wish we had realized how much our sins were going to affect our children.

Scripture tells us that this issue of generational sins has been going on for a long, long time:

2 Kings 15:9:

“And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, as his fathers had done. He did not depart from the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, which he made Israel to sin.”

Exodus 34:6-7

 The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

See Pastor John Piper’s article Does God “Visit the Sins of the Fathers on the Children”? for more on this topic.

The good news is that our sinful behavior doesn’t have to be passed on to our children! We can influence them towards a godly life by our example.


But how do we avoid passing on generational sins and at the same time build up and train our children towards godly character? This post will focus on just that!   With God’s help, we can be an incredibly positive influence on our children!



7 Tips for how to be the godly role model your children need:

  1. Focus on your own relationship with Christ:


If you want your children to know and love God, you need to model that for them.


They will do what you do more than they will do what you say.


If you’re reading your Bible daily and praying, they’ll want to do the same. If they see you bringing your concerns to God, they’ll do the same.  If they see you confessing your sins, and being repentant, they’ll do the same.   If you’re only a “Sunday Christian”, then they’ll be the same.  Or if you choose to skip having fellowship with other believers, they’ll do the same.  If you make other things more important than God in your life, they will do the same. I want to encourage you to make time in your busy life to spend time with Jesus each day, developing your own relationship with Him. May He be Lord in your life.


  1. Ask the Lord to reveal sin areas in your life:


Ask God to show you areas where you have sinful behavior patterns that need to change.  Do you lack self-control? Do you worry too much?  Do you complain more than you should? Are you ungrateful?  Do you struggle with pride or gossip?


I John 1:9:

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”


I was aware that I worried too much during the time we were raising our children, and I was trying to work on it, but I didn’t realize that I was impacting my children with this sin until it was too late.  Thankfully, God is gracious and merciful and He is redeeming my mistakes. He made my children aware of this issue and is helping those who started following my poor example in this area to overcome the same struggle in their own lives.


That’s the good news – generational sin issues don’t have to have a lasting impact as long as our children are also seeking God and His help to overcome sin. But if we can strive to overcome our sins while we’re still raising them, and show our repentance and share any victories with them, what a great influence that will be! We won’t be perfect this side of heaven, but if we’re real with our children, they will recognize God’s view on sin and also His incredible help for us as we seek Him.


  1. Pray for your children daily:


Ask that God will protect your children, that He will help them not to follow you in your weak areas of sin. Pray for their salvation, for their faith to grow, for God to draw them into a deeper walk with Him, and for God to develop godly character in them.  I am a firm believer in prayer and still pray for my adult children daily if not more! I believe God honors our prayers and will answer.  I’ve seen Him working in my children’s lives many times when I’ve prayed fervently for them.


  1. Focus on developing godly character in your children:


We can train our children to have godly character by taking time to teach on a specific character trait, teaching them the importance of developing it in their life. For example, you can spend one to two weeks focusing on developing “respect”, or “kindness” or “thankfulness” in your children. There are many resources on the internet about how to develop these character traits in your children that include stories, activities and more. In my planner, The Homeschool Life: All-in-One Planner, there’s a section on setting goals for your children that includes a list of character traits with scriptures you can memorize with them. (go to the “store” page to order your planner today!)  Also, on my website, there are several blogs on how to develop specific character qualities in your children. ”

“10 Ideas for Building Godly Character in Your Kids”

“Gratefulness: Building Godly Character in Our Kids”

“Obedience: Building Godly Character in Our Kids”

“Self-Control: Building Godly Character in Our Kids”

“Developing the Character Quality of Kindness in Your Kids” 

“5 Ways to Develop Honesty in Your Children”

“5 Ways to Develop Respect in Your Children” 

“Purity: Restoring a Lost Virtue”

“12 Ideas for Raising Responsible Children” 


  1. Teach your children manners and good citizenship:

As homeschoolers, we frequently get asked, “What about socialization?”  Socialization is defined as the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society. Why do people think that putting children all together in a classroom is a good way to socialize them?  Why would we want a bunch of our children’s peers to be the ones to teach our children what is socially acceptable in society?  That’s our job as parents!  I think homeschooling is one of the best places to socialize our children. We can teach them good manners: “please”, “thank you”, etc.  We can teach them to be respectful of others. We can also teach them to be godly citizens, by praying for our leaders, and being active in helping to improve our society by volunteering.


  1. Model and teach thankfulness vs complaining:


We live in a society with a strong “entitlement” attitude, where children feel entitled to have many things because their friends have them.  Things that we wouldn’t even have considered an option when we were growing up.  Cell phones, Instagram, Facebook, cars, tv’s in their bedrooms, etc. Our society wants us to focus on getting “more and more”, but we usually don’t really NEED what they tell us we need! This is a subtle sin area in American society, the desire to “keep up with the Jones” and have more things.  Materialism is such a distraction from our relationship with God. I want to encourage you to guard against buying or giving your children everything they want.  We can help our children see the negative aspects of having some of these things, and help them to learn to be grateful for what God has given them.   If we help our children learn to be thankful for what they have, rather than allowing them to complain and demand what they want, it will help them to overcome this incredible pressure for materialism.  Plus, we’ll enjoy them much more and so will others!


  1. Model a love for learning:

This isn’t so much about helping your children develop godly character as it is helping them to enjoy learning throughout their life.  We can be a huge influence in their lives in this area as homeschoolers! If we’re curious about the world around us and always asking questions and striving to learn, our children will also pick up on that attitude, and they’ll be lifelong learners too! We can help our children love to learn by answering their questions (even when they are silly!) and helping them learn by discovery. Children will retain much more of what they learn by discovery than what they learn by reading a textbook. Encourage your children to ask questions and help them find the answers. Be a great role model for them by asking questions yourself!


Being a godly role model is a big job! But as Christians, we don’t do this in our own strength, we have a great God who is there to help us! He can help us overcome our areas of weakness and He can also help us to be godly role models for our children. I encourage you to seek His help daily!

Do you have any suggestions or things you’ve done to help you to be a godly role model for your children that you can recommend to others?  Please make a comment and share them here!